On Feeling Forced to ‘Tolerate’ a Night Out With His Girlfriend
User @concerTAhole (very important to note his Reddit handle) took to the AITA forum to share how a night out with his girlfriend went wrong. After explaining he had bought VIP tickets for himself and his partner to experience a meet-and-greet with one of her favorite bands followed by their show, the man claimed, “I’m (36M) not a fan of her music, nor the fact that this concert was in the city, but I wanted to make it a great gift.”
OP explains that his girlfriend requested multiple times that he check what time they needed to arrive at the venue for the meet-and-greet. “Being the thorough, detailed person that she is, I assured her I would check,” he wrote. “Instead, I was too busy with work. Honestly, it was getting a bit annoying that almost every few days she would ask, so I told her I didn’t see anything while deleting a bunch of emails from the venue for concerts I don’t even care about.” If you’re thinking he’s a knob now, it gets worse.
They predictably missed the meet-and-greet because OP was too pig-headed to open any of the many emails that contained details on the event, which he admitted to his partner. He relayed that she “seemed to understand” and expressed shock that he actually enjoyed himself while the band played.
Deciding to leave before the final band went on, OP shares that his girlfriend asked if he wanted to grab a drink at a bar before calling it a night. “Immediately I said there was not a chance,” @concertTAhole wrote. “She mentioned that my car was in a secured lot and we wouldn’t be far, but I lost my cool, which I admit was NOT the best way to go about things, and told her, ‘You don’t go out in the city. There is crime all over the place!'” That is just… weird.
After trying a final time to convince him and being shut down yet again, OP said his partner gave him the silent treatment on the way home. (Can’t really blame her.) “I suggest[ed] that we go back to my place to finish out the night” — read: have sex — “and she refused. This also pissed me off because I asked what was wrong with the bar next to my apartment, and she shut that down with her short responses,” he wrote.
Raking her over the coals for “ruining” a night that “cost [him] over $300,” OP shares that his girlfriend “continued that I shouldn’t have bought the tickets if I was only ‘tolerating doing so.'” He admitted, “I do accept that I made some mistakes, chiefly with making us miss the meet-and-greet,” but still had the audacity to ask “… Am I the asshole?”
One Redditor delivered the verdict to @concerTAhole (the writing was really on the wall with this one), shocking no one but said asshole himselfby writing, “YTA. You deliberately deleted emails despite knowing she wanted to be sure of the details because you found it annoying that she asked. As a result she missed what was almost certainly the main part of the gift for her.”
They continued, “This isn’t about you tolerating the night out, it’s about you ruining it. The fact your girlfriend just got quiet and withdrawn instead of pushing back [makes] me worry that you’ve got a history of ‘losing your cool’ that makes her afraid for her safety if she speaks out.”
For more responses to this situation, click here.
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